Sorta Recipes!

(From Sorta-foods post on 21 August!)

Tis the season for pumpkin things, Billy! It is time to make my favorite pumpkin food; Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Muffins!

This recipe makes a total of 24 Muffins! Here are the kitchen items you need:

• Rubber spatula
• 3 Bowls (2 large, one smaller and microwave safe)
• Cupcake papers
• 1 12ct muffin tray (2 preferred)
• Kitchen scale (highly recommended)
• 1/4 cup and 1/2 tsp measuring cups
• A fork and some sort of scooping tool
• Your favorite pokey thing! (for me its a probe thermometer)
• Cooling rack (only a nice to have)

Ingredients! I will be Labelling them for which bowl they go into (D:dry, W:wet, S:small)

• 250g (3/4 cup) AP flour (D)
• 16g (2 tsp) Cinnimon (D)
• (Totals 4g)1/2 tsp each of: Ginger powder, nutmeg, and all spice (D)
• 10g (1/2 tsp) Salt (D)
• 20g (2 tsp) Baking Powder (D)
• 1 Stick (1/2 cup) Butter (W) (Melt in microwave before adding)
• 1 Can (15oz) pumpkin puree (W)
• 200g (3/4 cup packed) light brown sugar (S)
• 200g (3/4 cup) Granulated sugar (S)
• 2 Large eggs (Wait)
• 1 tsp Vanilla extract (Wait)

Instructions:

1. Preheat the oven to 375 F (190 C)
2. Mix the dry ingredients
3. Mix the wet ingredients
4. Add the small bowl to the wet bowl and mix
5. Crack eggs into small bowl (check for shells) and add vanilla, then mix
6. Add small bowl to wet bowl and mix
7. Add wet bowl to dry bowl and mix
8. Line the muffin tray with cupcake paper and scoop in your batter! (fill 3/4 of the way up)
9. Bake for 20 minutes! once done check with poker to see if it comes out clean
10. Use a fork to fish out your muffins and set them out to cool
11. ENJOY BILLY!!!!

Hey Billy!

I am a McDonalds enjoyer, but it seems as though they hate money! because they discontinued my 2 favorite burgers; the grilled onion cheddar, and the Jalapeño Cheddar burger! The latter of the two is what I made today! (Posted to the #Sorta-foods discord 10 August 2026 and 22 August 2026)

Kitchen stuff you'll need:

• Large nonstick pan
• Spatula
• Butter knife or a spoon
• A prep area (mine is a cutting board)
• A plate!

 Ingredients!

• 120g (a tad over a 1/4lb) Ground beef (80/20 works best!)
• 28g (1/2 cup) Crispy fried onions
• 8 - 10 slices of jalapeños (this is the only spicy so choose your spice level here)
• 2 slices of white cheddar cheese
• a pinch (1/4 tsp) of salt
• your favorite bun!
• Mayo! (idk how much i used lol)

Instructions

1. Set the stove to high heat and start heating the pan
2. Get your ground beef and press it into a patty on the pan
3. hit the burger with the salt on the one side
4. (this is where i get my stuff set up because you need to wait like a minute)
5. Flip your burger!
6. reduce the heat to medium low and add your cheese slices
7. Use your bun to sop up the burger fat and let that get toasted
8. Toss your crispy onions in there so they can warm up
9. Take the buns out and place them on your prep station!
10. Spread mayo on both buns (i like to use a spoon because it is useful for more than spreading and i can fish out mayo easier)
11. take your fried onions out and evenly distribute them on both buns
12. take your jalapeños and cover the entire bottom bun
13. place your burger on the bottom bun and close it up!
14. Put on your plate and ENJOY, BILLY!!!

Fun note: I treat baking more imperically than cooking! This recipe is more about the love of the game! measurements are just kinda suggestion guidelines! Go crazy with it Billy!

Hey, Billy!                          (Posted to the #Sorta-foods Discord on 24 August 2026)

Its round 2 of the "McDonalds hates money and removed the things I love" series! Today, I've got the Grilled Onion Cheddar Burger!!

Here are the Kitchen items you'll need!:

• Large nonstick pan
• Your favorite wooden spoon or spatula!
• Flipping spatula
• Cutting board
• Spoon
• Chef's knife
• Plate

Ingredients!:

• 120g (1/4 lb +) Ground Beef (90/10 actually works best here!)
• 2 Slices of White Cheddar Cheese
• Mayo to taste (Mayo is happiness! We don't restrict happiness with measurements!)
• 2 Pinches (1/2 tsp) of salt
• 1 whole onion! (yeah) (but also a half onion works if you aren't an addict like me... Just remember to adjust salt levels!)
• Your favorite full sized bun! (the bigger the better to contain mess)
• A dash (1/2 tbs) Oil (I used Avacado)
• A splash(tsps) water

Instructions:

1. Cut up your Onion!
   1. Slice in half
   2. Slice a small piece off the non root side
   3. Peel the onion 
   4. Slice across the onion about 2mm (1/8th inch) thick
   5. When you get close to the root, start cutting at an angle to:
      1. reduce waste
      2. keep consistancy
      3. help you keep your fingers!
   6. repeat with the second half and throw away the roots and skins (however you CAN wash and dry your skins, remove the bad parts and grind it down to make onion powder!)
2. Add all of the onions to the large pan on high heat and add your oil
3. Add half of the salt to the onions
4. Stir with the wooden spoon while this reduces until it starts to get that sweet browning color on the onions themselves.
5. Splash some water into the pan to deglaze it (rub away all the brown bits stuck to the bottom of the pan with your wooden spoon)
6. Stir until the water is mostly gone then pile the onions on one side
7. Press your ground beef into a patty shape in the pan 
8. Give it a second to brown then flip the burger and reduce heat to medium
9. Stir the onions and add cheese to the burger
10. Put your buns on the burger fat so they can crisp up
11. Turn off the stove
12. Move the bun to the prep station and add the Mayo
13. Spoon the grilled onions onto both sides of the bun
14. Add the burger to the bottom bun
15. Close it up, transfer it to your plate, and ENJOY BILLY!!!

Love this thread, Kevin!! I’m gonna have to keep an eye on this, I’m always looking to try new recipes!

(Posted to #Sorta-foods discord, 25 August 2026)

Hey Billy!!

I have been seeing pizza everywhere I go! Either I'm in love, or its PIZZA TIME!!! Today I am going to be making a Buffalo chicken pizza. This Recipe is a doozy and is going to be done in a few steps, because I have to: Make the Pizza dough, cut and cook the chicken, then prep the ingredients and make the pizza! That Being said I will be making 3 sections of this recipe! Trust me though Billy, Its worth every second!

Things you will need!:

• Dough
  • Medium glass bowl with a lid
  • Kitchen scale (highly recommended)
  • Spoon
  • microwave safe bowl
  • Kitchen thermometer
  • Clean counter surface
  • 1/2 tsp, 1/4 cup, and 1 tbsp measuring spoons (nice to have)
• Chicken
  • Large nonstick pan with a lid
  • Cutting board
  • Pairing and chef's knife
• Ingredients prep
  • Sauce bottle /or a ziplock bag and scissors
  • Large plate
  • Keep that chef's knife and scale
  • Cheese grater
• Other
  • Pizza pan
  • Pizza cutter

Section 1: Dough!

Ingredients

• 7g (1/4 oz packet) active dry yeast
• 180 (3/4 cup) water (This will need to be a very percise tempurature! 100F-110F (38C - 43C)
• 9g (1 loose Tbsp) brown sugar
• 240g (2 cups) Unbleached AP flour (keep the extra flour on hand for counter and hand dusting
• 2 pinches (1/2 tsp) salt
• A dash (1 tsp) oil

Steps:

1. Microwave the water for 30 seconds
2. Set it aside and put your kitchen thermometer in to wait for the correct tempurature
3. Place your glass bowl on the kitchen scale and add your Active dry yeast!
4. Once your water is between 100F and 110F (38C and 43C) add the water in
5. Add the salt and brown sugar to feed the yeast and stir with a spoon!
6. Wait for about 5 to 7 minutes for your yeast to wake up! (you will know its good when you see some bubbles forming)
7. Add your flour and stir it all together until it looks doughy
8. Lightly dust your counterspace with flour and dump out your dough!
9. Dust your hands in flour and kneed the dough for about 8 minutes
   1. make sure there is always just enough dusting to not get your hands or the counter sticky
   2. pull the dough away from yourself
   3. fold it in half
   4. rotate 90 degrees 
   5. repeat!
10. once you feel satisfied with the kneeding job, pull the dough into a nice ball.
11. add your oil to the bowl and rub it all over
12. place the dough into the bowl and place the lid on loosely

Section 2: Chicken!

Ingredients

• 2 chicken thighs (boneless, skinnless helps you skip a step)
• a dash (1 tsp) oil
• your favorite all purpose seasoning (the main idea is to use something with: Salt, pepper, garlic, and onion)

Steps

       (side note: now is when you start the Oven. Preheat the oven to 430F (220C))

1. Prep your chicken! (if you have boneless and skinless, you can skip this!)
   1. Remove the skin by pulling it off and slicing off the excess with your pairing knife
   2. Place the chicken face down and slice along the bone
   3. Make incisions and fold the chicken thigh until you go all the way around the bone
   4. Slice through to separate the cartilage and the bone from the chicken
2. Place the chicken flat and dust your seasoning on both sides
3. Add oil to the large pan and set to high heat
4. Wait until the pan is hot, then press the chicken into the pan
5. Let the cooked portionget halfway up the chicken then flip the chicken and cover
6. Reduce the heat to medium, prep some other ingredients, and then remove the chicken and chop it up!

Section 3: Ingredient prep and GAME TIME!!!

Ingredients (note: this section is toppings! i didnt really measure any of it, but I put rough measurements)

• 3 types of cheese
  • 2 cups monterey jack 
  • 1 cup Colby jack
  • 1/2 cup Parmesan (save yourself the trouble and get some preshredded stuff)
• 1/2 of an onion
• 120g your favorite buffalo sauce (I used sweet baby rays)
• 80g your favorite Ranch (I used HEB brand)
• We will be using the dough and the chicken as well

Steps

1. Grate your moneterey and colby cheese
2. Cut up your half onion!
   1. Slice off the non root side
   2. Peel
   3. Make 1 lengthwise slice almost all the way to the root
   4. Slice across the onion 2mm (1/8th inch) thick
3. Make the Buffalo ranch sauce
   1. Place either the sauce bottle or the ziplock bag on the scale and zero it out
   2. Pour 120g buffalo into the container
   3. Pour 80g of ranch into the container
   4. Close the container and shake to mix until one consistent color!
4. Dust your pizza pan with a very small amount of flour
5. Remove the lid from your pizza dough and press the center of the dough with your hand.
6. Overturn the bowl onto the pizza pan and wait for the dough to fall out
7. Stretch the dough to fit the pizza pan and make the crust
8. If you used the ziplock bag, cup a small hole in the corner
9. Drizzle 3/4 of the sauce onto the Pizza
10. Spread both the monterey and colby cheese onto the pizza
11. Add the chicken and the onions 
12. Add the parmesan on top!
13. Place the Pizza into the oven and bake for 20 minutes.
14. Take the pizza out and let it rest for 8 to 10 minutes
15. Cut the pizza with a pizza cutter
16. Drizzle a spiral of the buffalo ranch sauce on top
17. Take your well deserved slice and ENJOY BILLY!!!

Chicken Caesar Salad!!  (Posted to #Sorta-foods on 27 August 2026)

Hey Billy!!

Time to rock another 2-parter! The first is going to be me making a Chicken Caesar Salad! Then I will be storing some of the chicken for tonights Recipe!! Honestly the whole point of this is that I had all of these things on hand and its a great way to show how I cook on a more regular basis!

Here are the kitchen items you will need:

• Large bowl
• Large nonstick pan
• Cutting board
• Chef's knife
• Your favorite wooden spatula!
• Some sort of storage container
• 1/2 cup and 1Tbsp measuring cups (or a kitchen scale)
• A fork

Ingredients:

• 1 whole head of lettuce! (the experts will say you need romaine, and they have a point! But I don't have that, so I say Green leaf lettuce works just as well!)
• 4 Chicken thighs! (remember, this is mostly going to be stored, but the recipe works better when this is cooked in bulk!)
• 12g (2 Tbsp) shredded Parmesan 
• 20g (1 Tbsp) Caesar dressing
• 28g (1/2 cup) your preferred croutons
• 12g (1 Tbsp) All purpose seasoning
• 4g (4 pinches) of Chicken Bouillon!
• Water for deglazing! (I never know how much and you cook it off anyway so it doesn't matter)

Instructions!:

1. This chicken is going to be cooked Jerk style! First we are going to cut up the chicken!
   1. peel the skin
   2. cut around the bone
   3. slice the bone off with the cartilage
   4. slice the chicken into roughly 1/2 inch by 2 inch strips (don't think about it too hard, this one is supposed to be varied)
   5. add the chicken to a cold pan and repeat!
2. Throw away your bones and skins and WASH YOUR CUTTING BOARD AND KNIFE!!! This is actually the first recipe I have done on here that poses a serious risk of cross contamination, Billy! make sure you keep your wits about you, and don't get the salmonella!
3. Add your AP seasoning and chicken bouillon to the pan and set the stove to high heat.
4. Mix the seasoning in and then stir occasionally while you're doing steps 5 through 8
5. Take the lettuce and part the leaves until you are physically touching the center of the root with both hands, then pretend you're a chiropractor and crack it to instantly remove all the lettuce!! 
6. Wash the lettuce and place it all going the same direction on the cutting board (don't dry it)
7. Cut the lettuce widthwise at about 1 1/2 inches apart then into thirds at different angles lengthwise, then add to your bowl
8. Add your caesar dressing and parmesan to the bowl and stir until the lettuce is completely covered in the sauce (the water from washing was key, because it helps to stretch the sauce!)
9. Return to the chicken! Reduce the heat to medium low and add a splash of water to the pan to deglaze it
10. reduce the water until the juices begin to coat the chicken then turn off the stove. 
11. Toss the chicken until it is completely coated! then add a quarter of it (about 140g) to the top of the salad
12. Transfer the rest to a storage container and put it in the fridge for later recipes!
13. Add your croutons to the top of your salad and ENJOY BILLY!!

Teryaki Chicken and Rice Bowl!! (Posted to #Sorta-foods on 27 August 2026)

Hey Billy!!

Its part 2 of todays cooking posts! Tonight, I am making a Chicken Teryaki and rice bowl! This recipe involves chicken cooked in bulk during the Chicken Caesar Salad post. For information about how to cook it, you will need to reference that if you want the chicken...

Here are the Kitchen things you will need:

• A small pan with lid
• Medium pot with a lid with no holes
• Your favorite wooden spatula!
• Storage container for the extra rice
• 1/2 cup, 1 Tbsp, 1/4 tsp measuring spoons (or a kitchen scale)
• A bowl
• A fork

Ingredients:

• 200g (1 cup) Rice (I used Jasmine)
• 350g (skimpy 1 1/2 cups) water
• Salt(rice) to taste (actually taste the water. the salt levels is basically the same as the salt level when cooked
• 1/2 onion(optional) (I have a problem and I love onions in my white rice. This changes nothing about how to cook and you can just skip the onion portion if you choose)
• 120g (2 cups) Frozen Broccoli
• 1 pinch (1/4 tsp) Salt (for broccoli)
• 100g Cooked jerk chicken (or your desired amount)
• 21g (1 Tbsp) Teryaki sauce

Instructions!:

1. Dice the onion!
   1. slice the non-root side off 
   2. peel
   3. make 7mm (1/4 inch) cuts lengthwise along the onion, but keep it all together
   4. Make 4mm (1/8 inch) cuts widthwise along the onion
   5. dice the end bit as best you can and set the onion aside
2. Put the rice into the pot.
3. Rinse the rice until the water runs clear and drain as best you can
4. Add the water
5. Add the onions
6. Add the salt to taste
7. Cover with lid and bring the pot to boil (you will not be removing this lid until plating time)
8. Reduce the stove to low for 15 minutes then turn off if using gas /or/ Turn off the burner for electric
   1. Note:If you are getting frothy bubbles, just swirl the pot around to get rid of them!
9. Put the broccoli in the small pan
10. Add a splash of water
11. Add salt
12. Cover and cook on high until the water is boiling
13. Remove the lid and chop the broccoli with your spatula until the desired size and reduce heat to medium
14. Stir while cooking off the water then temorarily put it in the bowl
15. Add the chicken and a bit of water
16. Cover and get it reheated
17. Uncover and add a tiny splash of water to deglaze the pan again and recoat the chicken
18. Turn off the stove and put the broccoli back into the pan next to the chicken
19. Remove the lid and fluff the rice
20. Scoop 1/2 cup of the rice into the bowl and store the rest of the rice
21. Add the broccoli then the chicken
22. Drizzle the teryaki sauce on top and ENJOY BILLY

Leftover Rice Breakfast bowl!   (Posted to #sorta-foods discord 31 August 2026)

Hey, Billy!!

My fridge is full from all the recipes I've been making! That means I've been on the leftovers train for a while. I typically won't post a recipe unless theres something new to talk about so all I've done for a bit was pictures.. But today I'm going to be talking about a breakfast bowl with these leftovers!!

Here are the kitchen items you will need:

• Small nonstick pan
• Your favorite wooden spatula (this thing gets more use than literally anything in my kitchen!)
• Cutting board
• Chef's knife
• Either an Air fryer or use an oven (air fryer is suuper worth it though)
• microwave safe bowl
• fork

Ingredients:

• 1/4 tab (3.5g) Butter
• 2 large eggs
• 1 pinch (1/4 tsp) salt
• 150g (3/4 cup) Cooked rice (this was from the Teryaki chicken and rice bowl Recipe)
• 1 Frozen Breaded chicken breast
• sauce for drizzle (I used the Mi tienda salsa de aguacate, but it is also great with the extra buffalo ranch from the Pizza recipe!)
• 1 ice cube
• 1 slice of cheese (cut up small)

Instructions:

1. cook your frozen chicken in the air fryer or oven based on package instructions
2. Add the butter to the pan and set the stove to medium high heat
3. Crack the eggs into your bowl and check for shells
4. pour the eggs into the pan and stir until you can no longer see the pan through the eggs
5. add your salt stir it in and reduce heat to low (the reasoning behind adding the salt at this stage is so that the salt doesn't screw with the egg color, but you get the salt to actually cook with the eggs) 
6. rinse out your bowl and add the rice.
7. add the ice cube and microwave for 30 seconds and turn off the stove
8. Remove the ice from the bowl
9. allow the eggs to cook the rest of the way without heat and add the cheese
10. add the eggs to the bowl
11. remove the chicken from the *air fryer and slice it up!
12. Add the Chicken to the bowl
13. Drizzle with your sauce and ENJOY BILLY!!!!

Bread!!!   (posted to #Sorta-foods Discord 31 Aug 2026)

Hey, Billy!!!

twofer today rather than tomorrow, as I have become motivated! I'm not saying its time to make your own Bread Billy, but this recipe is certified delicious and free of glass shards!

Here are the kitchen things you will need!:

• 2 Bread loaf pans
• Large glass bowl with a lid (mine was a gallon)
• Kitchen scale (honestly this is pretty much required because measuring cups are really bad on the human error front here...)
• Probe thermometer
• Microwave safe bowl
• Aluminum foil
• Coffee filter (nice to have)
• Cooling rack
• Spoon
• Razor blade or extremely sharp knife
• Bread knife

Ingredients: (Like I said, I am putting imperical measurements in here, but they are no proper substitute for a kitchen scale here)

• 10g Active dry yeast
• 360g Water (Microwave for 45 seconds and stir. insert probe thermometer and only use when the water reaches 100F-110F (38C-43C)
• 20g Brown sugar
• 8g salt
• 480g Unbleached AP flour (keep extra flour out for the kneeding process)
• 2 Tbsp
• Extra water for steam
• 3 ice cubes

Instructions:

1. In the large bowl add the Active dry yeast, the brown sugar, and the salt and mix
2. Add in the 100F-110F (38-43C) water to the bowl
3. Mix all together and wait 5-7 minutes for the yeast to wake up
4. Add your flour
5. Mix with a spoon until it is a tacky dough
6. Pour the dough onto a lightly floured surface and kneed the dough for like 5 minutes
   1. Make sure to dust your hands and the dough with a bit extra flour every time it sticks to your hand
7. Take 1 Tbsp of the oil and coat the large bowl in it
8. Pull the kneeded dough into a ball and transfer to the bowl and place the lid loosely on top
9. Prep the oven!
   1. Set temp to 375F (190C)
   2. Place a bread pan with 1 cup of water
10. Let that rise for about an hour or 2 until it doubles in size
11. Lightly dust your surface again
12. Dump the dough onto the counter and very carefully fold it to be the shape of the bread pan and lift it in. (this is important to keep the CO2 from escaping the dough)
13. Tent the aluminum foil and place it over the bread pan for 15 minutes
14. With a clean razor blade or extremely sharp knife, score the center of the bread.
15. Place the bread into the oven and toss the ice cubes in the steam bread pan. bake for 30 minutes
16. With your probe thermometer, ensure that the center of the bread has reached 200F (94C)
17. With a knife, make separation on all sides of the bread to ease its removal from the pan
18. Turn the bread pan over onto the cooling rack and turn so its face up
19. Let the bread cool COMPLETELY!!!
20. Slice the bread as needed with a bread knife and ENJOY BILLY!!!

Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Loaf  (Posted to the #Sorta-foods Discord 4 September 2026)

Hey Billy!!

Its Pumpkin season in full force! I wish there was a harvest festival holiday people could celebrate this time of the year, so that we can have something other than Halloween this early! Either way, I am going to enjoying the festivities by making a Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread Loaf!! This is meant to be a sweeter, sliceable version of the pumpkin muffins a while back.

Here are the kitchen items you will need:

• 2 Large bowls
• Rubber spatula
• Spoon
• A bread loaf pan
• Parchment paper
• Pokey thing (mine is a probe thermometer)
• Kitchen scale
• Cooling rack
• Aluminum foil

Ingredients: (Labelling for which bowl to add to. D: Dry W: Wet)

• 2 Large eggs (W) (Crack into the bowl, check for shells whisk before adding other ingredients)
• 220g All purpose flour (D)
• 8g Cinnamon (D)
• 1g Each of ground ginger, nutmeg, and allspice (D)
• 3g Vanilla extract (W)
• 5g Salt (D)
• 55g Oil (W)
• 8g Baking soda (D)
• 64g Applesauce (W)
• 100g Granulated Sugar (W)
• 150g Brown Sugar (W)
• 340g Pumpkin Puree (W)
• 120g Chocolate chips (wait)

Instructions!:

1. Preheat the oven to 350F (176C)
2. Add the ingredients to their respective bowls
3. Mix the ingredients and add the wet bowl to the dry bowl
4. Mix the combined ingredients and set to the side
5. Grease your bread pan and line the bottom with parchment paper
6. Back to the bowl, Add your chocolate chips and mix them in.
7. Add the batter to the bread pan
8. Place in the oven and bake for 65 minutes
9. Poke the center of the bread with the probe and see if it comes out clean
   1. If not, bake in 5 minute incriments until done
10. Remove from the oven and use your spatula to separate the sides of the bread from the pan
11. Turn the pumpkin loaf over onto a drying rack and place right side up
12. Dust the top of the loaf with brown sugar and allow it to cool halfway
13. Place the loaf on a large piece of aluminum foil and wrap it up to cool the rest of the way
14. Slice yourself off a piece and ENJOY BILLY!!!

Late Night Breakfast Bowl!!  (posted to #Sorta-foods 8 september 2026)

Hey, Billy!!!

Its late as hell but I was in the mood to cook up some food!! Tonight I was feeling a breakfast bowl! Just because I'm cooking it in a haze of pure exhaustion does not make it any less DELICIOUS!!!!

Here are the kitchen items you will need!:

• Serving bowl
• Cheese grater
• Cutting Board
• Chef's knife
• flipping spatula
• Paper towels
• small pan with a lid
• fork

Ingredients:

• 1 Large egg
• 1 Yukon Gold potato (washed)
• 1 TBSP Oil (plus a tad later)
• Salt to taste
• MEAT (It literally does not matter what you put! Steak, Ham, Bacon! Whatever!! My choice is some Jalepeno Sausage!!)
• Water for the bowl

Instructions:

1. Fill your serving bowl halfway up with water
2. Grate your entire potato into the bowl and mix it all up with your hand! (keep the skin on there its good for you!)
3. Chop up your Meat how you like it and cook it in the pan! get it nice and crispy
4. Transfer the your meat to the cutting board and add oil to the pan
5. Drain the water from the serving bowl and SQUEEEZE the potato to get out as much moisture as possible
6. Place your potatoes out on a paper towel and further dry them. Also dry the serving bowl
7. Place the potatoes in the hot and oily pan, press them with the spatula, and add salt to the top and cover
8. Let it brown up on the bottom and then flip them to briefly hit the other side
9. Reduce the heat to low if on gas or turn off electric, transfer your hash browns to the serving bowl, and add the meat to the top of it
10. Add a touch of oil to the pan 
11. Gently tap your egg to crack it on three separate points to reduce the risk of yolk breakage
12. add the egg to the exact center of the pan and cover
13. Once the bottom is cooked (turn off gas stove here), carefully flip the egg to get the remaining white cooked
14. Transfer your egg to your serving bowl and ENJOY BILLY!!!

Teriyaki Steak and Potato Dinner!  (Posted to #Sorta-foods 10 Sep 2026)

Hey Billy!!!

I wanted to work this recipe out before my wife got back from her deployment so we could have a cool welcome home dinner date!!! That means that I'm passing this recipe on to YOU!! This is the Second version of this dish and I will say that it was soooooo worth it to do this before subjecting a lady friend to it!

Here are the Kitchen Items you will need!:

• Large nonstick pan
• Thongs (the pincher ones, Billy!)
• Probe thermometer
• Parchment paper
• Paper towel
• Aluminum foil
• Spoon
• Chef's Knife
• Cutting board
• Medium pot
• Your favorite wooden spatula
• Potato peeler
• Hand Mixer
• Strainer
• measuring spoons (or vibes ) (theres already too many dishes to be worried about exact measurements)
• fork
• 2 Plates

Ingredients:

NOTE: this is all with per person measurements in mind! Multiply your quantities by the amount of people you are wooing.

• 1 Steak (get yourself a good one that will give you at very least 4oz per person (this is the only one I will use to scale quantities)
• 2 Yukon Potatoes
• Salt to taste (just keep this on hand as it will be used often)
• 1 TBS oil
• 1 TBS Butter (Fun Fact: also called a tab! it is labelled on your butter wrapper!)
• Your Preferred Veggies! The ones I used were:
  • 1/2 cup Shitake Mushrooms
  • 5 Asparagus spears
  • 1/2 cup sliced red onions
• 2 TBS Mayo
• Garlic to taste
• 1 TBS Teriyaki sauce

Instructions:

1. Graciously salt the meat and wrap it in the parchment paper
2. Let that sit in the fridge anywhere from 2 hours to 3 days
3. Once you take your steak out and it is time to cook, Fill your medium pot with water and salt it 
4. Prepare your potatoes!
   1. Wash the potato
   2. Peel the potato
   3. Chop into 1 inch cubes
   4. Place into the cold pot of water! (Starches get stark cold and you want hot nood(le)s)
   5. Repeat until you are out of potatoes
5. Turn on the heat and move on to the steak
6. Put oil in the pan and crank that heat!!!
7. Prepare a plate with aluminum foil over it
8. Pat dry the Steak and add to the pan
9. Press the steak down with the thongs and let that cook until the cook line reaches 1/3 the way up the steak
10. Flip the steak
11. Insert your probe thermometer into the center of the steak
12. With your spoon, Baste the steak with the oil and beef fat until it reaches a temp of 100F
13. Reduce the stove to low heat, Transfer your steak from the pan to the aluminum foil plate and close the foil
14. Test your potatoes for doneness, turn off the stove, and strain the potatoes. They should end up back in the pot
15. Use the Hand mixer on the lowest setting to mash the potatoes get them into less than pea sized chunks
16. Add the butter, Mayo, Garlic to taste, and additional salt to taste and continue beating until smooth
17. Transfer the potatoes to the serving plate
18. Turn the heat back to high for the large pan
19. Toss in your vegetables and sauté in the oil and beef fat until nice and crispy!
20. Use thongs to transfer to the serving plate while shaking off excess oil
21. Open your foil and slice enough steak to cover the potatoes
22. Drizzle the teriyaki sauce over the steak and ENJOY BILLY!!!

Healthyish Pistachio Salad    (Posted to #Sorta-foods on 10 September 26)

Hey Billy!!!

I wanted to adjust the recipe for my dad's Go to recipe for any potluck or holiday EVER! we called it pistachio salad and it was typically served as a semi sweet side along with dinner! When I grew up, I realized that my dad had in fact adjusted the recipe himself to make it better. My dad had added sour cream to the recipe and it made the dish and removed marshmallows from the original to give it that perfect sweetness level that I remember so fondly. NOW, lets desecrate that recipe and be mad scientists with this gem of a dish!

Here are the Kitchen Items you will need!:

• Large glass mixing bowl with a lid
• Rubber spatula
• can opener (if needed)
• serving bowl
• spoon
• kitchen scale
• Mortar and pestle or food processor 

Ingredients:

• 1 20 oz can of crushed pineapple
• 1 8 oz container of original cool whip
• 460g of Plain nonfat greek yogurt
• 1 box of jello brand Pistachio pudding mix
• Shelled pistachios to taste!

Instructions! (You Ready for this Billy?!):

1. Add literally everything to the large mixing bowl and mix until one consistency!!!!
2. lightly grind or chop your pistachios
3. add your desired amount of pistachio salad to your serving bowl
4. Top with Pistachios and ENJOY BILLY!!!